E1: The #1 Reason You Still Feel Unfulfilled (And How to Fix It)

This episode might touch a nerve, but if you’re here, trust that it’s because there’s a key message your soul needs to hear.

Many of us have been hurt by someone we care deeply about — usually a parent, a sibling, or a family member who holds an important place in our lives.

If you are one of these women, there was likely a time when you felt emotionally unsupported, misunderstood, or even abandoned — most likely during key transitions like moving countries, getting married, or becoming a mother.

You’re a strong woman who’s fiercely achieved so much in your life… yet with your closest family, you’ve found yourself caught in people-pleasing.
Maybe you already know this. Or maybe you’re thinking —
“People-pleasing? Me? Nah…”
If that’s you, stay with me — this might reveal something you’ve never seen before.

Being a people-pleaser doesn’t always look like staying quiet or saying yes to everything and everyone around you.
Sometimes, it looks like being the strong one.
The capable one.
The one who handles it all, never complains, and never asks for help.
It looks like being able to speak your truth everywhere else —
except with your close family.

You might tell yourself that you don’t need to talk about it, because you’re strong — you can handle the pain.

But that’s not strength.
That’s people-pleasing in disguise —
An attempt to keep the peace out of fear of losing their love,
to protect others from discomfort,
while abandoning your own truth in the process.

So despite the pain you carry, you stay quiet.
You tell yourself it didn’t hurt that much — or that it’s not a big deal.
Yet instead of peace… you feel heavy.

The truth is — we can’t heal what we’re not willing to acknowledge.
Silence and repression don’t make the pain disappear;
they bury it deeper into your body.
And over time, the weight of that unspoken truth begins to creep into every part of your life.

And then you don’t understand why…
You feel unfulfilled in your work — even though you’ve achieved so much.
You struggle to connect with your partner — even though you deeply crave intimacy.
You feel disconnected from yourself, or your purpose — even though your life looks full on the outside.

What’s actually happening here is this:
When a woman disconnects from her softness — to avoid being hurt, judged, or misunderstood —
her strength turns into armor.
And that armor doesn’t just protect her…
it also keeps out the very love, support, and intimacy she longs for.

Secretly, what fuels your strength is the quiet hope:
“Maybe if I’m good enough… successful enough… quiet or loud enough…
they’ll finally see me.
They’ll finally understand me.
They’ll finally show up the way I’ve always needed them to.”

The problem with this is… it keeps your healing tied to their awakening.
And their awakening — their level of consciousness — is completely out of your control.

So you keep unconsciously waiting for things to change.
And that waiting places your peace — and your power — in someone else’s hands.
Someone who may never have the capacity, the tools, or the willingness to meet you there.
Because they’re still on their own journey —
a journey that may not include the kind of reflection, growth, or accountability you’ve already chosen for yourself.

And that doesn’t make them bad or unloving.
It just means they’re not your source of healing.
And they were never meant to be.

And this, my love, is your cue to stop waiting.
To stop waiting for someone else to change, to apologize, to finally see the real you.

To stop living to meet others' expectations or approval, instead of living by your own truth.

This is the moment you choose you.

You take your power back — not with force, but with clarity.
Because your healing doesn’t begin when they finally understand you.
It begins the moment you decide to understand yourself —
to reconnect with who you truly are, and live in alignment with what you know is true, even if no one else sees it yet.

“Ok Debora, you got me… But - how do you heal from people-pleasing?”
By practicing self-honoring.

So what does self-honoring mean?

Self-honoring doesn’t mean prioritizing yourself by becoming cold, detached, or confrontational.

It’s about learning to stay centered and connected to your truth —
even when others don’t understand it.
It’s about choosing to align your ego to your soul, instead of their approval.
It’s about choosing peace over being right,
and self-respect over guilt.

It’s about letting love lead —
not fear, not pressure, and definitely not obligation.

What’s the first step of self-honoring?

It’s having the willingness to acknowledge your truth —
even if it means letting go of the mask you’ve worn
to fit into the roles and dynamics others have come to expect from you.

The truth of how you actually feel, what you truly need, and what you’re no longer willing to carry.

Because the spiritual reason behind all of this…
is that your soul didn’t come into this world to be liked, to be approved, or to please.

It came to evolve.

And real evolution only happens when you begin to honor what you know — deep in your heart — is true,
even when others don’t see it, don’t agree with it, or don’t support it.

When you silence your truth to protect someone else’s comfort,
you disconnect from yourself —
and it doesn’t just delay your healing or your fulfillment…
It holds back your alignment with your soul’s purpose.

And remember…

Truth isn’t about communication — it’s about embodiment.
It’s not about what you say,
but how you show up — in every area of your life —
without betraying your feelings, your values, or your desires.

💌 I’m going to close today’s episode with a journaling prompt for you:

What roles have I taken on that don’t reflect my true essence — just to feel safe, loved, or accepted?
And what’s my truth, my real beliefs, about those roles?

You can write it down, or simply open your Notes app and let whatever needs to come up… come up.
Even a few sentences can be life-changing.

That’s how it happened for me.
I was in the shower when I asked myself this exact question.
I stopped, grabbed my phone, and wrote down a few raw, honest words.
And that moment became the beginning of one of the most powerful shifts in my life.

✨ Now take this mantra with you today:

True abundance begins with healing.
Healing begins with the courage to embody my truth.
Today, I choose my soul’s wisdom over the roles I was conditioned to play.

If you found wisdom in this episode, it would mean so much to me if you’d take a moment to rate the podcast with 5 stars.
You’ll help this message reach more women — and support a space where healing, truth, and softness are honored.

I’d also love to connect with you.
You can leave a comment below and share what resonated most —
or let me know if there’s a theme or question you’d like me to explore in a future episode.

And if you’re feeling called to go deeper…
I’ve opened a few free 1:1 consultation spots.
This is a chance for us to meet on Zoom and feel into how I can best support your journey —
whether through a Soul Contract Reading or my Soulfully Aligned 1:1 program.

You’ll find the link to book your free consultation, along with upcoming events, in the show notes.

That’s all for today, my love.
It’s been such an honor to share this transmission with you.

Sending you lots of love —
And until next time,

Debora Malca 🤍